Why Can't a Boy Have a Boy's Name?

 Get ready, I'm about to alienate and fuck with several groups of people here, but its all in good fun. Kind of.

The other day, I picked up Ava, from daycare. She was telling me about the kids in her class when I realized something. All of the boys in her class have these names which are either unisex or simply un-masculine.

Jordan, Jaden, Cayden, Hayden, Brayden, Tyler, Taylor, Hunter, Dylan, Deacon, Ashton, Colby, Tucker, Mason, Peyton, Connor, Austin, Archer, Blake, Bryce....blah, blah, blah...

  In my opinion we have de-masculinized an entire generation of males by giving them these ridiculous names. I have no intention on making fun of the kids. Those poor little bastards, they couldn't help it. I blame the parent(s).

 I think this started in the 1990's, when people started doing this whole, "My kid is gonna have a unique name,"  crap, in some lame attempt to show all your friends how clever and unconventional you are.

 Well its not unique anymore. An entire generation of cute little Tylers and Taylors are grow up and be adults one day. You would assume that they're gonna be pretty pissed off but my guess is they won't because if there is one thing I wouldn't be scared of, its the wrath and temper of some dude named Parker.

 Whats wrong with a boy having a boys name?

  My theory on this is that this growing trend of boys getting non-masculine names has to do with the fact that single mothers far outnumber single fathers. I think that there are so many single mothers having to raise these kids on their own that they sub-consciously give their little boys non-masculine names so that in their minds, they don't grow up an do to another woman what was done to them. After all, it was a man who did this to her, and who abandoned her to raise this child on their own.

  Thats just my take on the whole thing. 

 A name in this country in this day in age goes, a long way. I would know. My name is Jose, I grew up in White America, in the suburbs and Catholic schools as the only Jose. High School, College, Every job I've ever had I'm almost always the only Jose. 

  With a name like that people are compelled to fuck with you. Hoser, Hose, Hosey,  Hose-Head, Josey, Josey Wales, Jose Cuervo, Cuervo, Jos-B, is some of the bullshit I hear on a daily basis...AND THATS FROM MY FRIENDS!

   I went by "Joe" thru high school, which is even worse as far as easily tease-able names go. My parents and my brother and maybe a one or two friends still call me that. Those specific people are grandfathered in cuz they've been doing it my whole life. I get super pissed whenever anybody else calls me that.  I f*cking hate that name. That shit ain't my name. If you're gonna fuck with me, fuck with my real name at least. Thats the conclusion I came to after high school when I just said fuck it and went by Jose ever since.

   

   And for the record, the fact that hardly anyone calls me by my real name, doesn't bother me that much. I've always said its not the name thats being used so much as it is WHO IS SAYING IT.

   When my good friends in California, some of whom I've known now almost ten years, call me Hose, or Hoser, it just doesn't provoke the reaction that would happen if some cowboy, Larry the Cable Guy wannabe who I don't know called me the same thing.

  

  Lemme sum up. Give yer boys real names, Don't call me Joe, and there are alot of single mothers out there, which means when yer out tonight talking to some girl chances are she's probably a mom, which if nothing else should tell you, that at least she likes to get it on.

 I should probably say that if you're reading this and don't know me, one of my favorite things to do is to so say something crazy just for the sake of seeing what kind of reaction I'm gonna get. For example, I like to argue in favor of a belief or position I don't even believe in sometimes, just for the sake of being in an argument. It's an A.D.D. thing especially when I'm understimulated, there's nothing more high intensity and stimulating than trying to win an argument you don't belive in.

Ok bye.

The Gospel According to Marc

Spoon Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead...only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon Boy: Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends. Only yourself.
From The Matrix

  8 years ago this month, my friend Marc passed away. He was only 31, far too young and he left us far too soon. We had known each other since High School, and although I was not able to be around for the last couple years he was alive, I always considered him a good friend.

  Marc was a good guy and had everything going for him. We shared a love for Guitar Playing, Rock and Roll, Star Trek, video games, and 1980's pro wrestling. We all used to drink beer and play the bar trivia game thing. His name was "Exador" which I though was a pretty esoteric, yet clever Mork and Mindy reference. My name was "Tonga." Marc was the only person who knew I had referenced an obscure soundbyte from Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on an old late 1980's MTV commercial. Now thats Impressive.

   Out of our little tribe I always figured I would go first. I was amazed to make it to 21 and I thought there was no way I would ever see 30. Marc took much better care of himself than I did. So 8 years later, instead of making myself crazy wondering why it is that the good guys always seem to leave us so soon, while miserable bastards like myself seem to have nine lives. I'm choosing to focus on how he lived rather than how he died. He serves as the inspiration behind todays entry.

  You know how in a car crash, its always the sober family type guy, who took care of himself and did everything right that dies and the drunk driver who lives wrecklessly always lives? I'm like the drunk driver in the car crash of life.

  I never knew Marc to worry needlessly or be preoccupied with what may or may not happen in the future, while I tend to overthink everything, and worry and stress constantly. I even worry if theres nothing to worry about, thats how bad it is.

  I knew Marc as someone who things seemed to come easily too. I remember him never having a problem with school, finding a descent job, keeping cash in your pocket, having a car, getting girls, some of same things I still struggle with in my late 30's.

 Most importantly, I knew Marc as a good friend. He knew how to have a good time, and was great to be around whether you were partying, playing guitar or just having a beer and being chill.

  

   Then there are the stories. Holy Mackerel, we got some crazy stories. Some of which I'm not even sure I should go into detail about in this forum. I kind of feel like I should be respectful, but damn those were good times.



  Personally, I don't believe in death. I think it was John Lennon that said death is just stepping out of one car and getting into another.

  Now I don't claim to be a scientific expert, and there is a probably a good chance I'm butchering not only Einstein, but the Laws of Thermodynamics and just the Scientific Method in general, but from what I know, matter is energy and energy can never be destroyed just changed in form.



  Eleanor Roosevelt was once asked if she believed in reincarnation. She answered that the notion of her appearing in another life was just as unlikely as the notion of her appearing in this life was. I really like that answer.

  Life/death, heaven/hell, good/evil don't exist, they are just human concepts. I don't believe you're good, I believe you're God. Jesus even said it himself.

Even the least among you can do all that I have done, and greater things.

   Its like waves on the ocean may look different but they are all just different forms of the one ocean. I believe to fully realize this is to achieve the level of awareness of a Jesus or Buddha. I believe the term universal consciousness has also been used. I'm not saying its easy, but it is possible. Kind of like Morpheus said in The Matrix, There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.



Neo: What are you trying to tell me, that I can dodge bullets?

Morpheus: No, Neo, I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to. - The Matrix

   So on this 8 year anniversary, I'm left, with fond memories, a realization of just how precious life it and how it can be taken away at any moment, and how we can be certain of nothing in this world except that eventually one day your number will come up too.

   That feeling of truly realizing your own mortality. It hits you hard and sudden, almost knocking the wind out of you. Its such a powerful sensation, it scares the hell out of you, and you have to quickly put it out of your mind.

   I suppose I better get used to it though. I'm at the age now where I pretty much have more time behind me than ahead of me. At a certain point, life stops giving you things and starts taking things away.

Okay enough sentimental crap. I'll leave you with a story that I think will be okay to share.e

   It was sometime in the early/mid 1990's we all went with my folks to Rocky Point for a few days. The usual routine back then was to hang out at the beach and drink all day, then grab dinner, and head out to the bars and drink all night.

   Marc only went out with us the first night because he was getting so hammered during the day that he would pass out until the next morning. 

the only picture that survived the trip in question. Marc looms menacingly on the balcony.

   He ended up spending the majority of the trip passed out. We never let him forget that one (in good humor mind you, as friends do) Some people may feel bad about that or wish they had taken it a little easier, but not Marc. That trip always brought a smile to his face and he insisted it was the greatest trip and he had the time of his life. He wouldn't have wanted it to go down any other way.

  

Neither would I for that matter.

See you in another life brother!

If you want to see the memorial website that was created for him here is the link.

www.marchmichael.personalizedmemorial.com







Make Your Own Kind of Music

There's no way to describe what I do. Its just me. - Andy Kaufman

Andy was an absolute original. An uncompromised artist who marched through his short, strange life to the beat of a very different drummer. - Marilu Henner

   Andy Kaufman is one of my heroes. I'm old enough to remember him on Taxi when the show was on TV for reals and not on re-runs. I remember his forray into pro wrestling but it wasn't until my late teens that I really got a sense of what he was really about. Thats what I want to talk about today.

   The Midnight Special was a pretty big show back in the day. If you remember NBC's Friday Night Videos, this was its predecessor. You would think that not knowing if you're ever gonna get another shot on national television you would want to come out swinging with your best material, but I love how he just uses the opportunity to sing, "I Trusted You!" for almost 4 minutes. That takes balls as big as church bells.  

   The kind of people I like to be around are intelligent, creative, highly original and unique in the way they live/think/act/whatever, and not afraid to show it.









I never told a joke in my life - Andy Kaufman

I don't like being around people who feel the need to conform to whatever the average consumer is into. People who buy whatever television and top 40 radio tells them to. People who are afraid to stand out. Afraid to rock the boat.

  People who read whatever Oprah Winfrey tells them to. People whose idea of going out for Chinese food is Panda Express. People who go to the mall to buy anything. People who call radio stations to make requests. People who watch movies only because it has cool cars or guns in it. People who Tivo Survivor and American Idol.

Ok, I've alienated enough people, you get the idea.



 Maybe its an A.D.D. thing with me, or maybe it had to do with my upbringing but I just don't understand the need to conform, to be like everyone else. Its a completely foreign idea to me.

  I'm a first generation Mexican-American but I can barely speak Spanish. Most people mistake me for being Italian than anything else. Too white for the mexicans, to mexican for the whites. Not a whole lot of us out in the suburbs, and definitely not alot of us in the private catholic schools we went to.



   They let me know immediately that I was different from everyone else. Creative, free-thinking, rebellious, intelligent, suprisingly well read, into Rock music, questioning of religion and government, can't have that now can we? But instead of desperately trying to fit the suit, and be like everyone else and conform, I chose to stand alone, and be proud of who I am. "Yeah I may be different and a bit weird, but thats me, take it or leave it and at least its a lot more real than the trip I see you on."

   I've felt like an outsider looking in for pretty much my whole life. Now that I'm at an age where I probably have more time behind me than ahead of me, I wouldnt've wanted it any other way.





When Hunter S. Thompson ran for Sherrif of Aspen, Colorado he purposely shaved his head just so he could call the opposing candidate, "My Long Haired Opponent." 

Sarah McLachlan Music Can Make Anything Look Depressing: Episode 1

The Attention Deficit Disorder Song

Bands I've Seen Live

I'm not sure if this is a lot or not, but as far as I can remember this is it. I'm sure there are some I'm forgetting.

AC/DC
AEROSMITH
ALICE IN CHAINS
ALICE COOPER
ALLMAN BROTHERS
ANTHRAX
AUDIOSLAVE
BAD ENGLISH
BB KING
BILLY IDOL
BIOHAZZARD
BUDDY GUY
BUFFALO TOM
CHARLIE DANIELS
CHICAGO
CORROSION OF CONFORMITY
CROSBY STILLS AND NASH
DAMN YANKEES
DANZIG
DAVID BOWIE
DIO
DOKKEN
DREAD ZEPPELIN
DR. JOHN
EAGLES
EXODUS
FAITH NO MORE
FASTER PUSSYCAT
FIGHT
FIREHOUSE
GLEN FREY
GRATEFUL DEAD
GREAT WHITE
GUNS N ROSES
HELLOWEEN
HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS
ICE CUBE
INFECTIOUS GROOVES
IRON MAIDEN
JACKYL
JANES ADDICTION
THE JESUS AND MARY CHAIN
JOE SATRIANI
JOE WALSH
JOURNEY
JUDAS PRIEST
KANSAS
KENNY ROGERS
KING DIAMOND
KISS
KMFDM
LA GUNS
LITA FORD
MANHEIM STEAMROLLER
MAROON 5
MARILYN MANSON
MEATLOAF
MEGADETH
METALLICA
MINISTRY
MOTLEY CRUE
MR. BIG
MY LIFE WITH THE THRILL KILL CULT
NINE INCH NAILS
NIRVANA
OVERKILL
OZZY OSBOURNE
PANTERA
PAUL MCCARTNEY
PEARL JAM
PETER PAUL AND MARY
PINK FLOYD
PORNO FOR PYROS
QUEENSRYCHE
RAMONES
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
REO SPEEDWAGON
ROGER WATERS
SANTANA
SEPULTURA
SKID ROW
SLAYER
STEPPENWOLF
SPINAL TAP
SOUL ASSYLUM
SOUNDGARDEN
STEVE MILLER BAND
STEELHEART
STYX
JAMES TAYLOR
TESLA
TESTAMENT
THE CULT
THREE DOG NIGHT
TOM PETTY
TRIXTER
TYPE O NEGATIVE
VAN HALEN
VIXEN
WARRENT
WHITE ZOMBIE
WHITESNAKE
YNGWIE MALMSTEEN

They Call Me Bruce

I believe in sleeping - Bruce Lee, when asked if he believed in God.

 If there's one thing that I learned from 10 years of Catholic School is that I do not believe in God. I mean, I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian God who is some old dude with a beard that lives in the clouds, smites the unbelievers, and allowed the Holocaust, Spanish Inquisition and Creed to exist.

But I do believe in something. Call it God, a creator, spirit, call it Bruce don't matter what you call it. But I definitely believe that someone or something is responsible for all this.

 In my opinion, I just see too much order everywhere. From the movements of galaxys, planets and stars to our internal sub-atomic structures.

 Look at the human eye for example. How the hell would you know that you needed to evolve eyes to see if you don't have eyes and therefore don't know there is anything to see or don't know there even is a such thing as light?

What if C-A-T really spelled Dog? - Ogre, Revenge of the Nerds 2

 I'm trying to share my own thoughts without being all preachy and shit. I have no interest in trying to convince anyone of anything. I'm simply trying to show another way of looking at things, thats all.

  Here, check this shit out...

As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atomic together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter - Max Planck 1944.

   This is a very powerful statement coming from a physicist, founder of quantum physics, and Nobel Prize for Physics winner.

   Read that, let it sink in and do with it what you will.

  I see order everywhere. Even when you think you're looking at total chaos, if you look closely enough you can see an order.

 Go to a busy airport and it may look like a total clusterfuck of people running late, panicking, trying to find people, loosing luggage etc...but if you can look past that there is an order. Everyone is either arriving or departing. Everywhere has somewhere to go. Everyone there has a purpose. Signs point the way, security makes sure everyone is safe etc...

  Read about fractals. I'm no mathematician but fractals show you that there are mathematical patterns behind literally just about everything.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous - Albert Einstein

I don't believe in coincidence either. Karma is a very real thing. Cause and effect. Every choice I've ever made has led me to this exact moment right now. It couldn't have happened any other way. Whats the proof? This very moment is the proof in itself.  Newton basically said the same thing:

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - Newtons Third Law

 Newton was speaking in regards to the physical world, but I think its clear that the same law applies to the mental/nonphysical world too, and just life in general.

 What most people pass off as coincidence, I see as the universe trying to tell you something.  You ever notice how you'll hear about a book, then hear someone talk about it on the radio on your way to work, then have a couple people mention that same book to you? No coincidences.

  You can't pray to God to give you anything, thats not how it works. God can't just give you stuff. It violates Free will which is one of fundamental things given to humans. We have to be able to choose whether to accept any gift or opportunity we are given. You can pray to God to win the lottery, or find the perfect mate, but all you're gonna get is the OPPORTUNITY to get it. You always have to be able to choose to act on it or not.

   You have to really know it though. I can tell you about it all day long, but in the end its something you'll have to discover for yourself. I can tell you all day long that you can swim and tell you how the movements are performed, but you're not gonna know you can do it until you just jump in the damn water and see for yourself.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Isaac Asimov

 When I say I believe in God, I'm saying I believe there is some sort of creative force at work. Call it God, Allah, Krishna, it don't matter what you call it but wherever this thing is, thats where everyone and everything comes from too. And its where we will all eventually return to oneday.

  This force isn't a man in the sky who is angry, who strikes down the nonbelievers, and hates gay people and who is gonna condemn you to hell if you don't go to church every sunday, or use birth control. God/Satan, Heaven/Hell, Good/Bad are all human concepts.

  I know somebody in particular who won't hesitate for a moment to dismiss this entire post as pure bullshit and will pose the question, if there is a God, then why did the Holocaust happen? Why is there so much evil in the world?

  Well my answer to that is, for one thing there is no "God" as such who is letting the holocaust happen because he is either not entirely good, or simply incapable of stopping it. We have free will, everything that happens is a result of our free will, cause and effect and Karma. The creative force behind the universe is neither good nor bad. It simply creates and that is all. Everything else is up to us.

   I read once its kinda like how your parents have to eventually let you choose your own life, and while they may let you live your own life, and watch you make your own mistakes and figure it out on your own, that don't mean they don't love you any less.

  Fuck what do I know tho, and why the hell are you even listening to me in the first place? I can barely operate my dishwasher, and on a good day, am lucky if I can manage not to fuck up a cup of coffee. Like the Asimov quote, for all we know, we could've been created by some alien race so advanced that they might as well be Gods.

  Or the one I like is the computer simulation. Some race in the future could be so advanced that they could construct a computer simulation of the past so real you would not be able to distinguish it from reality. And what if that simulation is allowed to run long enough to where they make a simulation too? You can keep doing that for infinity. When you think about it that way, then in a purely mathematical,  hypothetical manner, it is almost a certainty that we live in a simulation.

But you definitely should not listen to anything I say. I'm friggin crazy and just talking shit anyways. Hell, by Dinner I probably won't even remember what I've written.

But you really don't wanna dwell on that tho. That shit will fuck with ya after a while if you let it.